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govt desktopUS Govt to remove Windows

A law written in 1856 prohibiting the US government from dealing with monopolies is responsible for the largest computer upheaval in history... Military readyness threatened. MORE...

Roman Numerals Returnold building

Vatican officials confirm today that the pope has declared that with the new millennium all Catholics are to return to using classic roman numerals in mathematical calculations. Biblical scholars have found no basis for the use amongst Christians of the Muslim Arabic numbering system, commonly used throughout the world. Citing polls that favor the belief that the coming millennium will feature the long awaited arrival of the antichrist, church officials fear that Christians using Arabic numerals may miscalculate the number 666 which is impossible using Roman numerals. --Staff

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November 15, 1999 issue

Great Pyramid Construction Secrets Revealedpharos cement bag

Great Pyramids

Thanks to ten year old Alfonse Murghatti, the centuries old question of how Egypts great pyramids were constructed is finally answered.

While playing in the sand next to the entrance line for the great pyramid, Alfonse unearthed a strange bag with some powder in it. MORE...

new sasquatch coinSasquatch arrives in March!

The new Sasquatch dollar coin will be available this spring and is sure to be a hit with the health conscious. Significantly larger than previous dollar coins, (which often were used as slugs for quarters in vending machines) the new coins incorporate a powerful rare earth magnet. The magnet is rumored to reduce the incidence of prostate cancer while solving the problem of impulse spending of loose change.

"This is a great achievement for the mint" comments Dr Myron Goldman of the NIH. "Combining money with magneto-therapy will save thousands of lives".

Similarly, Jason McKee of Banco Nationalle asserted "The long term benefits from  the increase in consumer saving will be enormous".

The Sasquatch coin, named after the large footed one, will have an image of the reclusive Sasquatch on one side and a Ying-Yang on the other. The coin will be the first US coin made of red iron and is conveniently the ideal thickness for kitchen table shimming.

The exact date of the coins release is not yet known as the US Mint is ironing out some minor design flaws that cause the coin to erase charge card stripes and interfere with air and shipboard navigational systems.  -- Staff.

 

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