Amphibious Shuttle Launches
Todays launch of the shuttle "Davey Jones" marks a
major shift in NASA policy regarding the military use of spacecraft.
The new amphibious shuttle, is capable of landing on bodies of water as small as the Gulf of Mexico, and has been specially designed to deliver Navy SEAL forces to strategic locations where other methods would be impractical.
The shuttle will carry an undisclosed number of troops with undisclosed equipment. Rumors purport that as many as 100 troops can be deployed at a time, the Navy refused comment.
Evidently, one benefit of delivering troops via shuttle is that the craft very quickly finds the bottom of the body of water after landing. This benefit eliminates the problem of SEAL forces having to conceal their arrival vessels. Extrication of shuttle-SEALs after a mission has not been specified, but speculation is that it is unlikely.--Staff
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December 1, 2000 issue
Al Gore Sued by Vote-A-Matic
Al Gore brandishes a Black Rocket at a recent speech in Florida.
Even though presidential hopeful Al Gore invented the punch card reading Vote-A-Matic, while in-vitro, that did not prevent the current owners of the voting machine company from filing suit for trademark infringement.
The phrase "A Fair And
Accurate Count" was trademarked by the Vote-A-Matic Corporation back in 1906. Throughout the past hundred years, Vote-A-Matic had used the trademarked phrase to differentiate its product from other competing voting sytems.
"The use of our phrase by Al Gore and the Democratic Party was unauthorized" cited M. Albert Hayes, legal council for Vote-A-Matic. "Vote-A-Matic strongly objects to the implications that our machines are less accurate than a human, when counting votes". Apparently sales of Vote-A-Matic machines have dropped precipitously since Mr Gore has put in question the machines
accuracy. More information as it becomes available--Staff
Celebrates 200th Anniversary
The U-Haul Corporation of Phoenix, AZ celebrates its 200th year in the rental business this month.
Back in 1800 when U. T. Railer began renting out covered wagons to explorers making the one-way voyage west, he had no knowledge that the company he formed would become the world leader in homemade moves.
In 1946, U-Haul was the first to transition from horse drawn equipment
to motorized, totally revolutionizing the industry. In 1975, U-Haul again led the industry by inventing the guaranteed reservation, guaranteed that there were reservations--not necessarily rental equipment available to rent.
Company spokesmen refused to comment on rumors that their newest product, the rental toxic waste dispersal vehicle (which disperses toxic wastes enroute via the drip method), while a hit with the chemical industry, has come under fire from many municipalities.