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cold fusion in your kitchenCold Fusion proved real!

The promise of an infinite supply of free power is three steps closer to reality now that a Virginia company has broken new ground with Cold Fusion. MORE...

urinal 4.0American Standard releases Version 4.0!

After 30 years of development, an update to version 3.8 of the "lpf" urinal series has finally been announced.

Urinal 4.0, incorporates numerous advances over previous designs. Key of these is the elongated snout which reduces dribble and eliminates splash.

 The new model is available in translucent Bondai Blue in addition to classic white. A similar upgrade to the gpf series 1.0 urinal is anticipated soon.

sleeping bare dunes national lakeshoreNPS opens park for nudists

In compliance with new federal sensitivity standards, the Park service just opened the first national park specifically catering to the needs of the nudist population. Located in Michigan, the Sleeping Bare National Park features miles of sandy beach,  barefoot friendly walkways and unisex toilet facilities.

News Archive Highlights:
US removes Windows - Military cripled 
Y2K Inventor Found
Make money with Gun Buy Backs
Chia Pets Threaten New Mexico
Metric Time comes to US
Crop Circles Explained
National Forests to be Clear Cut
Army drops BASIC training
Windows unstable in space
Mars Polar Lander is found

Lexus sued by PETI
PCS Phones are choking hazard

April 15, 2000 issue

no pay for six months
Employer tries unique recruitment approach

With unemployment rates at a 30 year low, employers are trying every possible gimmick to lure potential job applicants to their venue.

Quality Fleet, of Thurston MN has come up with a method that shows promise.  "From the day we put the sign up, people have been lining up to apply" says Bill Hock, store manager. "We are finally fully staffed now, and the money saved on payroll really helps the bottom line".

Six months without pay doesn't sound appealing until you realize that you save thousands on income taxes and you can still collect unemployment compensation, even while working! 

This creative approach to employment is already spreading throughout the Midwest and will likely surpass the "open salary" technique as the leading tool used in recruitment.

white house White House to be demolished

President Clinton will have to pack his bags and leave the White House a little earlier than expected, all due to a rare and tiny bug.  A small nest of California Palm Beetles were found under the deck adjoining the rose garden. California Palm Beetles are a protected species and by law their nesting areas are off limits to human development.

Demolition of the existing White House is slated to commence in June, as soon as the beetle completes the annual mating season. The president and his staff will take up residence at the District of Columbia Correctional facility, the nearest government facility appropriate. 

The Forest  Service is responsible for restoring the present White House grounds to the original forested natural state. When complete, the area would be designated as a national park, but off limits to human visitors.

california palm beetleCalifornia Palm Beetles are not normally found east of the rocky mountains.

 It is widely speculated that they arrived on the White House grounds as a nymphocyte attached to Skippy, President Nixons dog back in 1969. 

There is an ongoing investigation to determine whether the beetles have also nested in the DC subway system, which has an air duct near where Skippy used to romp.

 

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