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Bondai Blue Bug!Bondai Blue Bug

Following the design rage started by Apple and their colorful I-Mac computers, VW announces a new Bondai Blue Bug!    MORE...

Nostradamus X.72
Prediction True!Mongolian King Fireworks

According to Millie Fenwick of Naples FL, when she was cleaning her garage and found some old fireworks she was part of the famed X.72 quatrain of Nostradamus.

"The year 1999 and seven months From the sky shall come the great king of terror The great Mongolian King of old shall resurrect" 

As it turns out, the fireworks label read "King of Terror, Mongolian King Fireworks LTD." and when she set it off on July 4th, it exploded violently with some of the still lit remains hitting the ground and terrifying her neighbors and fulfilling yet another of Nostradamus' prophecies.

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Army drops BASIC training

August 1, 1999 issue

Windows Unstable in Zero Gravity!Space Shuttle landing

The results are in from the space shuttle "Windows In Orbit" experiment and it's not pretty.  MORE...

Do Not Pass signPolice Crackdown Begins

A cross the US, many police departments are set to start ticketing people who pass DO NOT PASS signs.  MORE...

Crop Circles ExplainedCrop Circle

When Bill Masterson unearthed an old WW2 German bunker while drilling a well on his farm, he never imagined what he had found!

Documents from the bunker describe a Nazi spy communication scheme that was heretofore unknown. The documents describe signals used by the Nazis that match the crop circles found in England.

With this new information, English authorities have determined that there are at least five, and possibly as many as twenty, Nazi spies still at large in England. By decoding the circles,  they are desperately in need of clean socks, smokes and "enigma oil"(whatever that is).

Apparently, these spies had lost communication with their German handlers and believe the war is still going on. Without receiving the proper "halt" codes, these spies assume that news of the German defeat and war end are lies and propaganda.

English authorities are considering various methods to convince the spies to "halt" but progress on uncovering them is likely to be slow, as there is a large population in England in need of clean socks.

Internet Killing TreesPower lines aside dead Oak trees

With the power utilities now getting into the Internet transmission business an unexpected problem has developed.

Apparently, the technology that allows high speed data to be carried over power lines kills Oak trees within 30 feet of the lines.

Robert Jackson, of Conglomerated Power of Oakville IL, explains that the problem stems from the increasing use of streaming media and has nothing at all to do with high RF radiation found near the lines.

Reportedly, the problem only affected sapling Oaks until last February when the Victoria's Secret fashion show was streamed across the net and then the full grown Oaks started dying off.

CP is working with the USDA and in hopes to find a solution to this problem.  - staff




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