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US Army Dons Hi-Tech Chinese Berets

Soldiers "missing in action" will be history as long as they have their black beret!

J Chung Industries dominates Pekings Sweatshop district.

Special threads embedded in the berets provide space based communications and positioning for every soldier!

The new US black beret!

A slave seamstress prepares the special threads for placement in the berets.

 

Thanks to advanced military technology transferred to China during the past few years, the US Army will be sporting some hi-tech headgear when their new berets arrive this spring.

 

The new black beret, initially to be issued to members of the Army, and eventually the entire military, is being manufactured by J.Chung LTD of China at their clothing factory in the sweatshop district of Peking.

Made with world renowned "100% Chinese slave labor", the new berets will also incorporate the latest in GST technology, provided gratis by the Chinese government as a token of their friendship.

 

Global Soldier Tracking (GST) technology uses a small amount of a specially manufactured fiber to accurately track the locations of all soldiers in the field. 

The Chinese have been supplying military uniforms for many of the worlds armies for years and have made GST a standard component of all textile products the country exports, for both military and consumers.

 

For the US military, the Chinese government has been so generous as to provide their latest GST advancement-- subliminal messaging-- free of charge.  The messaging (part of GST-A or "Advanced GST") allows for the broadcast of special commands to the soldiers, either individually or as a whole, that they instinctively follow as if under hypnotic transe.

GST-A normally would have otherwise cost the US military over $500 billion were it not for the generosity of our Asian friends.

    (Special note: Congress is still deliberating on how to fund the Soldier Management System (SMS) component of GST-A. The Chinese normally perform this portion of the system on a contractual basis for their military customers, allowing the individual armies to implement GST-A quickly and at a minimal expense. Using the Chinese SMS servers would cost the US military only $2,500 per year as opposed to $5.6Trillion if the US licensed its own SMS servers.)

As part of the governments ongoing effort to encourage political correctness and diverse homogeniosity amongst the military, every soldier will soon be required to wear identical headgear regardless of rank or branch of service.

 Rank distinctions are scheduled to be abolished over the next four years, eventually eliminating the "class system" that currently exists in the military.

When complete, the "Army of one" program will eliminate any incentive for advancement and remove all types of skills based discrimination in the military services. Racial and ethnic preferences will be retained, however.

 

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