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Clinton Library Opens!

With great fanfare, the William Jefferson Clinton Presidential Library opened its doors to the public today and reveals an unusual perspective into the life of the former president.

The Library Color Guard

Hotel  Hallway Art Collection

Banquet Silver Collection

Clintons silk pajamas

White House hinge collection

White House workmens tools

Clinton Wine Cellar

Vince Foster Memorial

Covering almost three city blocks, the Clinton Library is the largest structure in Hope Arkansas, hometown of Bill Clinton.

With more than 5, 000 parking spaces already sold, the library parking lot is still only 50% complete.  Even so, visitors not coughing up the $1200 for a "gold" position in the lot have a long walk from their cars.

Once inside, there is ample opportunity for visitors to donate to the library. 

The Democratic Machine Shop, the predominant fixture in the main lobby, makes it clear that donors will not be forgotten. This "pay for play" policy, while coming under media scrutiny lately, has had enormous success for the Democrats.

 

Among the many attractions on display are the:

  • Clinton Linen Collection. Towels, blankets and other memorabilia taken from hotels the president had stayed in during his numerous international trips while in office. This is the largest such collection in the world and includes items from over 5,000 hotels in over 342 countries.

 

  • Scale reproduction of the White House. Made completely with the W keycaps from computer keyboards, this model is awe inspiring.

 

  • Clinton Panty Wall .  The entire west wall of the library is covered with the panties of notable intimate friends of Bill, overtaking Nelda Marcos' shoe collection as the "9th wonder of the world" according to the Guinness Book of Records.  Of special note here is the "Come Hither Collection" featuring some of the former presidents DNA on the panty material.

 

The most unusual item on display was the Certificate of Exemption from the rule of law, signed by the US Senate and the Association of American News Media. 

For years the existence of this exemption has been denied, but thanks to a generous benefactor of the library who insisted on its display, it is now presented for the world to view.

Sadly, the teflon dress that Hillary Clinton wore during her NY Senate campaign has been removed from display.  Hillary claims "I feel so comfortable wearing it". Apparently, during the month the dress was on display, the stains started to stick on Mrs Clinton.

In short, visiting the Clinton Presidential Library can be an eye opening experience (hallucinogenic if you happen to inhale). Just make sure to bring plenty of cash with you.   --staff

Visitors crowd the lobby seeking pardons, exemptions, waivers, and all kinds of special treatment provided to those who donate.  Some waited over three hours in line to just get inside the Democratic Machine Shop door!

 

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